Reality Test

MHCU 7: The Women of Summer House & The Central Relational Paradox

June 13, 2024 Dr.s Kay & Ray Season 2 Episode 7


Have you ever wished you could put your walls down completely and love wholeheartedly, but feared you’d get your heart broken? Maybe going slowly and cautiously into a relationship, like Gabby & Ciara in Summer House? Have you ever felt like you were better off single, because you’ve been burned one too many times? Or maybe you wonder if you’ve stayed in a loveless relationship because you don’t want to open yourself back up to heartbreak or loneliness, were you to reenter the dating pool? 

In this episode, the 7th in our Mental Health Check-Up (MHCU) series, Dr. Kay discusses the Central Relational Paradox, a conflict we all experience between our desires to love and our fears of being vulnerable. 

Dr. Kay explores the psychotherapy model that this concept comes from, Relational Cultural Therapy, providing definitions, examples, and recommendations. The examples are all from Summer House, as it wraps up its latest season. 

In honor of Ariana hosting the new US Love Island season as it starts back up, Dr. Kay explores avenues for navigating love in today’s cultural atmosphere, one marked by cynicism. 
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Central Relational Paradox References:

Eisenberger, N., Lieberman, M., & Williams, K. (2003). Does rejection hurt: An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science, 302, 290–292.

Freud, S. (1961). Letter to Binswanger. In E. L. Freud (Ed.), Letters of Sigmund Freud (p.386). Hogarth Press.

Hill Collins, P. (1990). Black feminist thought: knowledge, consciousness, and the politics of empowerment. Unwin Hyman.

hooks, b. (2000). All about love: new visions. William Morrow,

Jordan, J. V. (2010). Relational–cultural therapy. American Psychological Association

Meyer, I. (1995). Minority Stress and Mental Health in Gay Men. Journal of health and social behavior. 36. 38-56. 10.2307/2137286.

Miller, J. B. (1976). Toward a new psychology of women. Beacon.

Siegel, D.J. (2012). Pocket guide to interpersonal neurobiology: An integrative handbook of the mind. New York: W.W. Norton & Company.

Siegel, D.J. (2012). The developing mind, second edition: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are. New York: Guilford Press.
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If you are experiencing/surviving domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788.

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Reality testing is when we check an emotion or thought we’re having against objective reality. 

So, here in Reality Test, we’re going to be testing the thoughts, emotions, interactions, and producer antics of reality television against what we know, as licensed psychologists, about objective reality. 

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Hosts: Dr. Kay & Dr. Ray
Thank you to our sound extraordinaire, Connor!

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